The hardest part of starting any relationship is the flirting stage for most guys. We just don’t know what to say and we’re afraid that we’re going to end up putting our foot in our mouths. There are hundreds of guides for being smooth or for getting laid, and they never hit on opening lines or how to flirt with a pretty girl.
In fact, it’s one of the things that are just assumed to be natural for some people. You’ll have friends say that “he/she is such a flirt” and just leave it at that. If you’re not “a natural flirt” you’re left feeling like you’ve totally missed the boat. It’s well known that being a flirt is one of the best ways to get girls interested in you. Never fear, we’re going to give you a guide to flirting with ladies that will leave them feeling charmed, and not creep out.
The more relaxed you are when you talk to a chick the better your chances are going to be of her being interested. While it’s true that a babe wants her man to be a go getter and driven this isn’t what they look for in flirting. Women read tension, particularly tension in men as a threat to their well being. This means that if you’re wound up tight that she’s going to worry about you snapping on her. In short, the best way to get girls is to relax. At first, this may take a little liquid courage to get you in the mood and adjusted, but after a while it will become second nature to you.
Sit back when you speak with a woman and only lean forward if you actually have to so you can hear her or otherwise want to show her that you’re interested in what she is saying. The absolutely best way to get girls is to actually be interested in them as people. If you show this in the way that you’re standing or sitting then they’re going to be more committed to talking to you.
The Back and Forth
You can’t flirt if the girl is doing all the talking or you are doing all of the talking. You have to actively engage in the other person and make them feel like you’re enjoying the communication. Dudes are conditioned to think that women spend most of the time talking; however, it’s been proven that this isn’t true. There are actually studies out there that show that if a woman is talking for 50% of the time, we think she’s talking for 80%. Not sure why that is, but it’s a good thing to keep in mind when dealing with babes.
Don’t zone out and keep yourself as engaged as possible if you aren’t interested in talking to her then you should probably just disengage and move on. This will have the added benefit of making you look desirable to other women in the room. One of the best things about girls is that the way to get their attention is to HAVE attention from a woman already. Women like to have what other woman have or find desirable. Use this to your advantage.
We can hear you, “all of that’s fine, but how do you even get a girl to talk to you” you ask. The best thing that you can do is be low pressure. If you insert yourself into a conversation and stick around you’re just going to come off as rude. The flipside of this problem is that there’s no good way for timing to work out to your advantage when you’re talking to someone at a bar. You’re going to have to interrupt her if she’s talking to other people to get her attention. There is one proven way to do this without really seeming rude OR like you’re a creep.
Simply tap her on the shoulder and tell her that you think she looks nice. That’s all. “Sorry to interrupt you, but I noticed you and thought you look really beautiful. If you’d like to talk to me later, I’m going to sit at the bar a while, I’d like to buy you a beer.” And then walk away. Don’t stick around, don’t hover and if she doesn’t show up for your offered beer, don’t be personally wounded by it. The less pressure a woman has to perform the more comfortable she is going to be with an action. This is, hands down, the best way to get girls in our experience.
Keep it Light
Flirting is not sexual. It isn’t meant to be. Very rarely can guys play off sexual comments or jokes and not have women take us as being serious or aggressive. The best way to avoid that sort of heavy feeling in your conversation is to simply not bring it up. Women find that men who focus on sex right away are usually aggressive and rude. Men that focus on sex or on how a woman’s body looks in conversation also come off as threatening to them. Unless that’s the message that you want to get across, we wouldn’t bring it up at all.
If she starts out or brings sex up, of course you’re welcome to keep that ball rolling, but don’t start it yourself. Instead, joke with her about something silly. If she asks you to, say, watch her computer, then say “of course, but if it needs to go outside I’m not going to clean up after it”.
People are good at having frivolous conversations about things; it’s a great way to judge if someone has a good sense of humor and if you jive with them. After a bit of light hearted flirting you may even be able to ask her for her phone number, in case she needs someone to babysit that computer again.
This is going to seem like a no brainer, but flirting isn’t serous. It’s a friendly way to talk to the opposite sex without any commitment. It should leave both of you walking away from each other feeling better about yourselves and possibly with a phone number. If you’re approaching flirting as the best way to get girls then you’re going to be worried about failure. Don’t let this show on your face. Relax, smile, and just allow yourself to have fun with the conversation
As dudes we feel pressured to lead interactions or conversations. Our natural inclination to be in control means that we may miss out on the finer points of flirting. Don’t allow yourself to be a control freak about simple conversation and don’t treat it like you’re entire night is going to made or broken by the interaction. There are tons of babes out there, make sure that when you talk to them you keep that in mind.
All of these tips work online too, with the exception of the posture. Read more about the guide to getting laid online and learn the tactics for getting laid online. Internet dating is the best way to get girls. However, you have to keep yourself low pressure and the conversation light regardless. Asking a chick for personal information or otherwise prying is going to throw her right out of flirt mode and into self-defense mode online or offline. Keep it friendly and keep it harmless if you want flirting to do its job.